It’s almost here. Fast approaching. Am I nervous or excited? Frankly I have no idea. I’ve loved every country I’ve been to so much, but I’ll be back in America. I’ll be leaving this community that I’ve grown so close to, but I’ll be with my family again. I’ll be back home with a changed spirit, strong faith, and hope for the future. I’ve never had these things before in my life.
I remember at the beginning of this trip I was worried about going home. It was only about 1-2 months in, a long way from the end, but the thought that I’ll eventually be home worried me. One of the coolest things I saw in myself on this trip was that these worries slowly faded away over time and eventually, flipped into excitement. There are still some small worries there, but the good things are outweighing the bad things.
Expectancy. Knowing something is going to happen, but not knowing what it is exactly. Ever since I’ve been here in Ecuador I’ve been expectant about something. Whenever I think about going home, I feel expectant about something. It’s like God’s telling me something’s about to happen. What is this thing? I have no idea. One thing I do know is that this trip is just the beginning to whatever God has in store for me, the best is yet to come. Maybe this feeling of expectancy has something to do with this. Like I’m immediately going to be launched into the next step of my journey beyond the world race, something better than this.
That’s what this time is feeling like. It’s pretty confusing. I have more questions than answers. But as nice as it is to have answers, I don’t really NEED them. Maybe God just wants me to trust in Him and walk by faith. I mean look at Abraham. He walked with God for years barely knowing anything. He trusted God to guide his every single step. The only thing he knew was God’s promise to him. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to walk by faith and carry this feeling of expectancy with me. I have no idea what to expect, but that’s the beauty of it. It’ll be even more amazing when God reveals to me the end goal, because of the fact that I have no idea what to expect. It’ll be one of the coolest and most awesome surprises of my life.
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” Galatians 2:20.
Caleb,
Your blogs have been so special to me. God has certainly blessed you with an ability to express how you feel. He will direct you to your next steps. Thank you for sharing with us.
We look forward to seeing you again.
Lots of love,
G’ma and G’pa
Caleb, Your words convey not only expectancy, but a great amount of faith in your God. It is beautiful to see even from afar. You have grown by leaps and bounds! I pray you rest in the simple peace and joy that comes from that crucified life with Christ, walking day-by-day in great expectation, faith, and hope in the Father. He most certainly will guide your next steps.